Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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