Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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