goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
