Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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