he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
