I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Randomize
