The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
