dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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