I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
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