Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
