I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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