just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize