At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
