is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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