Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Randomize
