I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I need moral support for this bender
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer