And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
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I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
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I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...