Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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