Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
