Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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