I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
