After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
