...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
