there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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