it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
A bitchslap is in order.
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