If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
