I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
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He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
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Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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