I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
