plz talk dirty to me
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
