So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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