we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
