brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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