remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
