i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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