508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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