I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
