walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
