There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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