There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I've blown a few things in my day
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Randomize
