Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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