I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
