i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
No stitches, just platelets and will power
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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