i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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