Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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