if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My feet surprised me
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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