.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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