She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
