Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
