Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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