Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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