Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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