Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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