I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
