he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize