I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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