He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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