I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
