like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
