I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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