Can i not drive my cunt home
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
