What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
