She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
