Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
