he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
