he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
